Novices of the Hairy Hooligan Tribe - How To Train Your Dragon

How to Train Your Dragon

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How to Train your Dragon

A Hero's Guide to Deadly Dragons

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Hiccup is a Viking and is on his first year of the Pirate Training Programme, which is a bit like prison but the boys are armed and the food is TRULY DISGUSTING. Vikings are the Terrors of the Seas, the Scourge of Civilisation, great Barbarian Warriors of the North. But what Hiccup is, is mostly WET. It rains a lot on the Isle of Berk. Did you know, there are 101 different words for ‘rain’ in the Dragonese language? Hiccup knows them ALL. Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III was a truly extraordinary Viking Hero. Warrior chieftain, awesome sword-fighter and amateur naturalist, he was known throughout Vikingdom as “the Dragon Whisperer”, on account of his power over these terrifying beasts.

Toothless is the smallest hunting dragon anybody has ever seen. And he hasn’t got any teeth. But he can still give a nasty bite with his VERY HARD gums, as you will find out if you ever try and take back the haddock he’s just sneakily stolen from your plate when you weren’t looking. NEVER try and take back the haddock. You might need all ten of your fingers one day, for swordfighting, or learning to play the harp or something.

Sometimes Hiccup can’t help wishing Toothless was a truly gigantic Monstrous Nightmare kind of dragon… but don’t tell him.

This is Hiccup’s father. As you can see, he is tough but not all that bright.

Hiccup’s mother is a great Hero who is often away questing.

Fishlegs is Hiccup’s best friend. His dragon, Horrorcow, is a normal size, but she is vegetarian and not very scary unless you happen to be a carrot. Things Fishlegs often says in a life-threatening situation: ‘For Thor’s sake, I can’t believe we are out here surrounded by deadly fire-breathing carnivores YET AGAIN, call me fussy but I quite fancied staying alive until I was at least twelve…’

Camicazi is the daughter of Big-Boobied Bertha, the Chief of the Bog-Burglars. Hiccup never tells her this, because Camicazi is way too pleased with herself already, but she IS a very good swordfighter. She is also handy at Burglary, and here she is in her Burglary Suit. Some of that equipment looks illegal. Things Camicazi often says when swordfighting a large and scary Cannibal: ‘Ooooh you’re just TERRIBLE at this, really TERRIBLE. I hope you’re better at eating people than you are at swordfighting, because if you’re not you must be STARVING… LOOK!’ (cuts a large letter C in the shirtfront of the Cannibal with the tip of her sword) ‘C is for Camicazi, and Clumsy, Cowardly, Cockroach of a Cannibal, I could have killed you five times already, it’s PATHETIC.’

You can recognise Snotlout from a mile off by his enormous hairy nostrils, they are GIGANTIC, you could park a Gronckle up there. Snotlout is good at everything and a natural leader. The son of Baggybum the Beerbelly, Stoick the Vast’s younger brother, he is intending to get rid of Hiccup sometime in the future so that he, can become Chief of the Hairy Hooligan Tribe.

Hot-headed and thoughtless, Tuffnut Junior is a fierce young plug-ugly who is excellent at fighting with swords, axes or fists. His nose is a bit wonky due to an unfortunate confrontation with a Gronckle who he attacked when he was a baby. DO NOT MENTION HIS NOSE. Tuffnut is a little touchy about his nose, and he is, as his name suggests, very tough. Although Tuffnut is quick-tempered, he is not mean like Snotlout. Tuffnut’s Riding Dragon is a very cool Rocket Ripper with go faster stripes along the sides. His hunting dragon is an Eaglefly.

Like his friend Tuffnut, Speedifist is an excellent Warrior-in-Training, very skilled and strong at fighting. He is also the fastest runner in the Tribe. Speedifist and Tuffnut are firm friends – although they are also very competitive, so they can waste time fighting each other rather than the enemy. Tuffnut Junior and Speedifist will follow Snotlout’s lead, but if Snotlout gets too bossy both boys can get rebellious. Speedifist’s Riding-Dragon is a Swiftglider, as fast and as quick as its rider. Speedifist’s hunting dragon is also an Eaglefly.

Wartihog is an aggressive bully of a boy, lavishly decorated with a handsome crop of adolescent pimples. He is always on the side of whoever is winning. His hunting dragon is a Gronckle, slightly smaller than Dogsbreath’s Gronckle, but equally unintelligent. His Riding Dragon, however, is quite a cool one, a Marsh Tiger.

Clueless is so stupid it is remarkable that he can make it through the day. For instance, once when Gobber asked him to bring his DRAGON with him, he brought his FLAGON instead. A flagon is a small jug, and not the same thing at all. Why Clueless thought a small jug would come in handy on a hunting expedition, is a mystery. The truth is, Clueless has the mental capacity of a jellyfish. There are tiny legless life forms swimming in the sea who have more ability to plan ahead than Clueless. Clueless’s hunting dragon is a Lackwit (very violent and unfocused), and his Riding-Dragon is a Dimbruiser.

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